Saturday, October 25, 2008

John Gormley



There's John with a human sized elf. Is it any wonder that the State's finances are as about as healthy as Wiemar Germany when the Department of Environment has to bribe people to dress up as fictional creatures to promote a "greener Ireland". There's also too much good shit already on the interweb about this bloke. Like here, here and here.But I'll give it a lash - grows up in Limerick, becomes a TD in 1997 and goes on to make a tit of himself on RTE. Shown here...I stopped counting the number of times Gormley said the word no after 40 seconds in. Some of you Krusties out there will argue that the clip shows Gormley has conviction. My anus.

So apart from helping out with Irish-Sino relations, backtracking on Tara and standing beside elves what else does John do? John writes a blog - that's what he does. But he's been really really really busy lately so he just hasn't had time to keep it up to date. So I'm going to help him out. Here's his post for the 30th of September:

Last night I popped into bed at 10 after America's Next Top Model - I was out in a flash. Woke up to find two burly members of the Garda Siochana standing over my bed. Hope they didnt spot the manifestation below. They were causing a big hullabaloo because my phone had been on silent. Twenty four missed calls from Leno - "Jeez Louise", I exclaimed. Was on my way to Government buildings in no time - still slightly aroused - the girls had got their makeovers and were doing an underwear shoot in last night's episode of Top Model. Brian and Brian had got all this banking fuss sorted in no time and through all the dilly-dallying everywhere I managed to get a quick nap on Brian's sofa and finish myself off. Off to the Leisure Plex today.

With the above I think I helped out John with his blog, but for now I'm going to take a back seat and let John have his word. Gormley thinks he's down with the kids, like Cameron in the UK with his "I've got Radiohead on my ipod". I came across this interview with a bit of an auld google search. In my opinion the highlights are the following;

Have you been to the cinema recently, what did you see and was it any good?
I saw Once on DVD. It was OK.

Your idea of heaven?
Living in total harmony with nature.


By nature he means Fianna Fail. I would also like to point out that according to this interview John's uncle lives in a place called "Muff". I'll leave it at that so.

As for Gormley and his Greens the next few years (possbily months) are going to be a lot of rock and a hard place situations. Shit one. Story goes that Harney texted Gormley on the day before FF caved in about the over 70's medical card yoke with, "the worst day in government is always better than the best day in opposition". Trouble is you know Gormley fucking believes this 100%. The tree-huggers have spent so long trying to get into government that no amount of hypocrisy on motorways through heritage sites or shitting on our OAP's will make them break up their 'coalition of the willing' with FF.

You reckon its going to take a political debacle of epic proportions to make the Greens jump ship - like the government having to fork out my tax and every other dickhead's PAYE on bailing out a bank. My prediction, like its namesake in Iraq, this coalition is already fucked. Its only a matter of time before its bye bye to the Greens for another generation which should allow Gormley, bored out of his GM-free tree, to get back to his farcical blog.



3 comments:

GerardL said...

elves dude, elves.
End Colm-esque grammar rant.

Malore said...

thanks gerard.i wrote this hungover, which would explain said crap grammar.

colm said...

I love how I get namechecked every time someone fucks up grammar.